Announcer: Sharad Ragas, ladies and gentlemen!!
(Applause)
S.R. : Thank you, thank you.. Errm, okay.. thank you. Please be seated now. Thank you. Seriously now, SIT!! Ahem. On this momentous occasion, I would like to thank ze Lord first for putting me here.. um, my parents.. love you mom; errm.. and dad too. My advisor.. for being outta town today; ze lovely French girl with the lilt seated in the first row.. yeah, muah.. love you too; my wonderful colleagues (mock shooting). Errm.. ze employees of Q'doba, Au bon pain, Domino's.. and of course 7/11, for feeding me for a year.. thank you. A special thanks to all my friends.. named and nameless. Valluri, for his constant reminders that grad life is a pool of piss, if nothing more. Atlantean, for not turning completely insane -yet- .. a glistening beam of hope, you are. Vigbert, of course.. for all his constant support and pathetic, but promising attempts at humor. Together, we are gonna make it to SNL, someday.. am sure. Hmm.. Che Guevera, Christopher Reeve.. for being what they were.. Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman.. sires, you truly are divine. Angie Harmon, Saira Mohan, Maggie Cheung.. too bad none of them are here tonite..
(The Blue Danube begins faintly)
S.R. (continuing): .. Hank Azaria, great fan of your work, sire. Dylan and Neil Young.. for all those inspirational writings. SEL.. thank you for composing the background scores. Lakshya, a personal favorite of mine. Eddie Vedder, of course. People at Thermidore theatre.. your plays suck, ma..
(The Blue Danube in the background.. People rushing and escorting the speaker off the podium)
S.R. : Bah!! Lemme just thank ze gir..
(The waltz intensifies as the mic on the podium dies down)
Indistinct audible: .. bastards!!
Announcer (embarassed): Ladies and gentlemen, Sharad Ragas and his Biryani* again
(Applause)
*Illustration only
Ah.. the paternal pleasure, after baking your first cake!! 
